We know that:
- LISTENING to our children is the best way to build a relationship with them!
- LUV* Listening is the best form of listening.
Get started today!
- Give your children a Hear Me Out card, in English or Español
- Learn the 5 Strategies to Maintain a Positive Relationship with your Child, also available in Español.
*LUV Listening copyrighted by Karol Kumpfer, Ph.D.
Five Strategies to maintain a positive relationship with your child –
Building a strong, close relationship with your child is important now, and as they grow. Our teens tell us that only 1 in 3 feel that they can talk to their parent or caregiver about difficult topics*.
We offer these strategies to help you in this important work:
Make time for them
- Make time when they are ready to talk
- Share meals and fun time together
- Set aside time just for them – and let them choose what you do together!
Listen without judgment
- Let them talk: there is value in your silence
- Turn off the “lawyer” voice in your head
- Listen for meaning in what they say (and don’t say)
- Ask questions to understand their thinking
- Remember their age
- Acknowledge and validate their feelings
- Name the emotion; it keeps the conversation going
- Allow them to have their emotions; even if you disagree with their emotions, they can still have them!
- Tell them you love them – often
- Notice and praise specific efforts (“You really worked hard on that project”)
- Point out and thank them for good behavior, even minor things
- Discuss and develop clear and reasonable rules, expectations, and consequences
- Be consistent with expectations and consequences
- Help them learn from their mistakes
- Breathe! Model calm behaviors